As someone who's intentionally childfree and living up that DINK lifestyle, I'm always interested in learning why other folks went the "non-traditional" route and decided not to have kids.
Well, Reddit user u/ConstantMuted8671 recently posed the question, "Women over 30, why are you glad you remained child-free?" And there were so many interesting answers, each one 100% valid! Here are some of the top-voted responses:
Disclaimer: This post isn't meant to shame anyone who chose to have kids! I just love celebrating people who buck societal norms and do what's best for them.
1. "Almost 33. I’m glad I remained child-free because of inflation. My heart goes out to families who are struggling and barely scraping by. I am doing a career change, which for me would not be possible if I had children. I can work part-time (24–32 hours a week) and not have to take out a student loan. Once I have a new profession, I hope I can save up for a house. I was hoping by my age, my life would be set, but it isn’t. I’ll be in my forties by the time I am set."
"I see parents on Facebook daily begging for cheap rent, money, donations, and food for their families. They've got overdue bills and collection agencies after them. It’s really sad."
2. "I'm glad I don't pee myself when I laugh or sneeze. I'm glad I didn't risk losing my hair or teeth or getting diabetes. I'm glad to not receive all that nasty unsolicited advice from anyone and everyone who spots a pregnant person. I'm glad people don't feel the right to touch me, too. I'm glad I'm not negatively impacting the environment by making another person. I get to live my life for me."
"Got my tubes out a bit over a year ago, and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. 10/10, highly recommend."
3. "34, and I love my freedom. I travel both for work and pleasure, I enjoy date nights with my husband whenever we feel like it, and I spend my weekends enjoying bubble baths and video games. I just do what I want without having to worry about a helpless human needing my 'sacrifices.' It's a lovely, wonderful existence."
4. "Getting diagnosed with depression as a result of having ADHD (undiagnosed, of course) was just one more reason to be relieved about not having kids. I'm 43 years old, and I have struggled with depression since I was 12. It was never treated, and I always pretended that everything was fine. I noticed early the struggle of completely healthy people having kids, and I decided I couldn't do it. No regrets."
5. "It was a decision I agonized over daily for the first 10 years of our relationship. My husband wants kids, but it’s been hard to get him to understand how all-consuming it is. He isn’t paying attention to the work involved or considering who is going to do the things he doesn’t like to do around the house even now. He never considered that HE would also have to call into his job sometimes because I refuse to use up all my PTO or put my job at risk by staying home with a sick kid every time, and it’s MUCH harder for him to miss work. Who is picking up the extra laundry? Bending over the tub for bath time? Ideally, it's a joint effort. But it never crossed his mind."
"There are a ton of great dads out there who do their part or are the sole caregivers, and I do not mean this offensively. Just as a stereotypical statement: I don’t get to be a dad, I have to be a mom. That’s usually a much larger mental load to carry (and physical)."
6. "I made six figures before I turned 30, and now I have a director title at 34 (earned it at 32) because I was able to dedicate my time and effort to my job, with no school calling me in the middle of the workday to come pick up little Jimmy. I had the ability to stay late and take on more work because I didn't have to leave work to get any kids ready to go to bed."
7. "32F here. I can barely take care of myself in this godforsaken world. I am happy to know that I am not bringing a child onto this planet with overpopulation, this economy, etc. The list goes on."
8. "45F here. I'm absolutely and unequivocally glad and thankful that I've remained CF. I've never, ever had maternal instincts, baby fever, or the sensation of a biological clock. Not only that, but every fiber of my being screams that being a parent would be an absolute nightmare for me. So...childfree regret? Never heard of her."
9. "I traveled full-time around the world for four years with no home base while working remotely, which I'd always wanted to do. I would've never been able to do it if I had a kid in tow, especially the way I liked to travel. Sometimes, I would wake up in one country and decide I wanted to fall asleep in a different one that night. I'd buy the train tickets the same day, repack my suitcase, enjoy the gorgeous scenery on the train ride in peaceful silence, and then go out and have dinner and drinks with local friends before going to sleep in a quiet, clean Airbnb."
"I've lived in three states and three different countries, and I'm about to move to my fourth country because I have the freedom to decide where I live independent of any worries about the quality of local schools or uprooting a kid from their friend group."
10. "I have the freedom to be there for so many people. Sometimes, people who have kids are so focused on the well-being of their child (which makes sense) that they forget or leave behind other people. Recently, I was able to take out an elderly lady who lives alone to lunch, and she loved it. I was able to be there for my friend when he was having a hard time and was even able to feed some animals that were hungry. This is why I hate when people call someone childfree 'selfish.'"
11. "48 here. Feels great to spoil my nieces and nephews AND also leave when they get annoying and loud."
12. "66F. Every year, I am more grateful for my life. I spend money on whatever I want. I’m retired, living at the beach with my rescue mutt and rescue cockatiel. I have friends and family I’ve chosen to be in my life because they enhance my life, not because I 'should' include them. I have no regrets."
13. "I like the freedom. And I know people usually mean that in the 'I can travel' way, but I’m not much of a traveler at all. My freedom is watching a movie uninterrupted. My freedom is going to a restaurant whenever without having to find childcare. Or going for a walk whenever. My freedom is peeing alone when I want (totally underrated, LOL). My freedom is spending the money I wanna spend however I want, whether it be a white couch that won’t get ruined in two days or a $2 pen I like without having to hide it. My freedom is doing nothing if I wanna do nothing."
14. "Even if I thought I would be a good enough parent (I don't) and able to inflict as little damage as possible on another person I could have brought into this world, I'm powerless to provide or guarantee them a future due to catabolic capitalism, the threat of authoritarian regimes, and climate change. Not to mention if that child were a daughter? She likely will not have rights by the time she's an adult."
15. "I’m 39 and grew up thinking I’d eventually have kids until I realized I could make the choice to be child-free. It felt so empowering to take control of my future. I have SO MANY HOBBIES! Because I have time and money! I take piano lessons, perform and teach improv, teach and do yoga, meditate daily, do ecstatic dance, have an awesome puppy I walk every day, ride my bike, go to the lake, and go stand-up paddle boarding. I have thriving friendships and a loving partner."
"I’m not lonely, sad, tired, or broke. And I enjoy being an auntie but don’t want my own kiddos. It’s been a blessing to have made this choice."
16. "I have a dog whose anxiety and barking can be a challenge at times to manage, and it made me realize I don’t have the capacity or patience for kids. My mental health would suffer, and in turn, so would theirs."
17. "35 here. I was barely able to support myself in my twenties, and I'm still paying half my income towards debt every month. I have only felt in the last year or two that I am in a place where I can relax and enjoy my hobbies and passions. Why would I want to sacrifice that peace to raise someone to follow their dreams until they are 18, at which point, they must give up their passions and peace to fuel the machine. There are SO many generations of women in my family who 'sacrificed it all' for their kids, who had to sacrifice the same for their own kids. At what point has there been enough sacrifices?"
"I intend to honor their sacrifice and enjoy myself. I won't pass it on to the next generation."
18. "I love my clean home, and I love not dealing with tiny humans' various body fluids."
19. "32. I’m tired. Like, really, really tired all the time. There’s no way I could adequately provide for a child, nor do I want to. Naps are life, and my cats are always down to join me."
20. "I love lavishing my dog with tons of attention and spoiling her rotten while simultaneously never needing to pay for her college or raise her children. Dogs cost a tenth of what children do, and my dog did not have a teen angst phase and is ALWAYS excited to see me."
21. And finally, "42F. Never had an ounce of regret. Never wanted them, so I never had them, as simple as that."
If you're childfree, why are you glad you don't have kids? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.