"Just remembered the lady in my screening of The Color Purple, who loudly said, 'That’s not what this movie is about!' during the kissing scene, and the other person who shouted, 'It’s in the book!'"
"Why did this 2-year-old just come up to me and say 'Excuse me sir, but do you happen to be Blasian?' And after I told her yes she said, 'I could just tell lol. Have a great day beautiful.'"
"When you usher in December by kicking out the scammers in your life, that’s called the 'Santos Clause.'"
"My grandma told me to bite the babies' nails instead of using clippers or he would become a thief."
"I haven’t purchased one Christmas gift, but I do have five packages on the way for me."
"She asked me in a passive aggressive email because 'Christmas holidays are about being with family, and because I don’t have children, I could come back on the 2nd and swap with her.'"
"That sushi from Walmart got my stomach sounding like a HBCU Homecoming."
"What excites you most about going to prison?" —Ziwe to George Santos
米ラッパーのニッキー・ミナージュが、スタジオ・アルバム『Pink Friday 2』をリリースしました。ファンの間で、あるトレンドが大流行して…👀
For me, it's definitely meat-themed vegan dishes.
"My fingers physically cannot do the Gen Z heart."
"My wife has so many men and dates, she doesn't know what to do with them all. Meanwhile, it's the opposite for me."
"I haven’t purchased one Christmas gift, but I do have five packages on the way for me."
"She asked me in a passive aggressive email because 'Christmas holidays are about being with family, and because I don’t have children, I could come back on the 2nd and swap with her.'"
"There's no one in that car!"
"Leave the World Behind is a very strange film for a former United States president to have a producing credit on, I'll say that."
"In middle school, I had a friend that showed us the 'pass out game.' She'd press on the carotid artery to make us pass out for, like, 15 seconds."
"My grandma told me to bite the babies' nails instead of using clippers or he would become a thief."
"When you usher in December by kicking out the scammers in your life, that’s called the 'Santos Clause.'"
"Concert movies are so unserious sometimes, like why are you eating nachos while Beyoncé is singing 'Dangerously in Love?'"
